;to hold

Holding something, when you were still a kid must be something that's a bit hard. Especially when you are still a baby. You still have no idea on how to use your muscles properly in order for you to hold something. You're still weak, vulnerable, and cute obviously. Haha. Even, eventually you'll be able to learn how to hold something with the energy and good synergies of your muscles and brain and blabla where i don't really need to explain haha because it's an automatic response from the brain. Yes, but eventually when you're one, you can hold your own bottle or glass for you to drink, you can hold and bring something to a different places, you'll be able to hold something with a firm holding

As well as when you're growing up, the word "Hold" will be aplicated into a more complicated things. You need to hold your ego, hold your lust, wants, feelings, emotion, and with the different context you need to be able to hold your principe, hold your dignity and so on and so far. See? All the things that we learn during our childhood will never stop appear in our steps of life. It just appears in a different and more advanced way.

As the world gone crazier than before and as a young generation who's currently still sometimes being apathetic, i do realize managing to hold these advanced things are quite hard. All the factors that might appears to slowen down our development keeps feeding me and i loose. I do realize i've lost. So does lots of people nowadays. Teenagers are found sending hatred each days whether it is directly or indirectly to someone. Why does that happen? It's because we just can't handle and hold those immoral action that could lead us to worse things. Like when you were a child, when you're not able to hold a glass, it will fall down and broken. While the problem today is that, the phenomenon of failing to hold your emotion feels like normal, because it is done by people. We are not aware that we've lost. Sometimes there's a huge battle that goes inside yourself, whether or not you want to send hate to someone elses, but it seems nowadays it has become a quick and decisive victory for your ego. 

Hold. It is a common word that might be spoken hundred times a day, but inside it has so many meanings that we can use to actualize ourself and introspect our action. I've lost once or thousands, but God always give me more time to breath. In which i believe, God wants me to change and fix it, because it's not too late. We need to learn to us. To our child version of us. On how we're not giving up until we reached it. The proper way to hold something. After all, we are a grown up people, we have mind, we have energy, we have time. #JustDoIt

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[Quite Night, Yogyakarta]