I feel like I wanna take a leap of faith. can I?

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As I hear the rain pouring and classical piano playing in Youtube streaming. I feel some kind of energy running through my body. If I can see the aura, I might see colours changing around me. 

I honestly can't really describe how I feel. But I'll try. to make you, the you that will read this, understand. 

I feel like I'm in the middle of the rain, but still under the roof. Cause the sound of the rain is quite obvious, means it touches surfaces. or objects. I feel like my heart is quite heavy, once I saw this picture of "unlearning things". It said several things that human needs to unlearn, in order to develop themselves. Everything written there, I still do. 

how to unlearn things? 

I feel so, weak. I can't control and I'm too dependent. I want to be independent and believe in myself. I do I really do, and if you ask me if I'm confident enough to say that I can and will survive, I AM confident. But the things is I'm just too scared to make the first step and can't really get out of this comfort zone. I'm afraid if I do those things, I'm being too selfish. I can't say no, I'm definitely a people pleaser. I don't want to be a people pleaser. I just want to please my self and the people that I love. But pleasing them also makes me people pleaser. Cause I'm sacrificing my own will and happiness and choices and freedom. Can I not be dependent over anything? 

The sound I'm listening to right now is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nF1fSKEiyA0

and I'm sad. and i feel like i wanna take a leap of faith. can i?

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