back at one

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perfectionist, most people whose right now might be successful or not that successful but we see them having the best achievement in their life, tend to be a perfectionist.

I, on the other side, not a perfectionist

Not because I don't want to, but because I can't.

Why I can't? Because I fail to discipline myself, I fail to make my plan works. I do have brilliant plans, I need to be proud of, I have visions.  

But I lost it, cause I fail.

And somehow it is so hard to get back that vision. I lost that energy. I lost that soul. 

It's always been like that, I've always been so excited and full of energy at the beginning. Then, problems start coming, and I failed. 

Then I'm ashamed and disappointed with myself. 

I've earned a good position, means I've developed pretty well in this new stage of life. But I started back at one. becoming the lame one, the coward one. I've got bravery anymore. I've got no energy anymore. 

I don't want to be perfect anymore 

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