It's been a while

It's been a while, but things hasn't changed. Significantly.

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Hi, everyone. Whoever read this blog. Let me introduce my self for a prologue, a pretty pathetic ordinary girl who has so many dreams and wants but done little to get near to it. Unaware of how she became the girl today, simply wasting most of the time of her life in the past few years. Likes to underestimate herself, yet knew it isn't a good way to at least appreciate the presence of herself. Accidently put those personality inside the mindset like a seed flew to the ground and indirectly planted, but never knew it was watered each days. Being reckless on to something that is very essential. Who should i blame? 

Recently, i am trying to arrange the time during my junior high school until my senior high school phase, where i mostly ever felt changes in my life. Such as, being on the bottom in the class, unable to recognize other people's feeling like i was good at it during my elementary phase, loosing my ability to be diligent as i was before. Never really know what was the reason. But let me find it out here;

1. Modernism
Starting my first observe on to phenomenon that happened to the societies, that is Modernism. Modernism has changed the perspective or the way of living for societies, including in the way people makes efforts over their dreams. Some create beneficial movement and development over themself and others from this era of modernism. Like, being more ambitious and competitive, as information is already limitless to be accessed. Thus, the upper people are sensitive to use that benefits to develop their way of study or to see chances of success in this world.

While on the other side of the world, there are certain people who are unable to adapt with the changes of era. This era provides practical facilities that ease us to do our job, but we see from lots of movies like Wall-E, where these facilities transform and weaken our body, keep our muscles stays statically, only few that moves, such as our hand, eyes, mouth, or maybe in our stomach. This leads to people would not want to move out and simply only staying on their gadget. If we get to a more detailed discussion it will lead to social media, where we know it is the most 'place' we jumped in to during our boredom, our leisure. When people used to hang out and really creates a literally social media (social interaction), people nowadays would lend on to their smartphone to make the social interaction by an unreal touch of interaction. Plus, Indonesian right now seems to legitimate the laziness behaviour, especially for teenager, by putting out and trend the word "mager" that stands for Males Gerak, or lazy to move. Not going to be hypocrite, but i do so. Until i realize that it is indirectly allows the type of extreme laziness (seriously, people's nature is to move and you are lazy to do that?)

Thus modernism has created a big changes towards our life, yet not all people are able to adapt with it, so provided by those easy facilities we tend to spoilt ourself to those things. And i think that is the first reason why i became static and not making huge movement during the past 5 years to evolve my self to be better. I was drifted by modernism.

2. Lack of Consistency and Motivation        

Secondly, i believe in order to reach your goals then certain characteristic is needed, such as dicipline and consistency. I may had done certain things to achieve my dream, or to simply do things that i like such as writing in this blog. It is something that i like, sharing people what’s in my mind, also train my writing and english skills, but if you guys pay attention i only write once a year or twice a year, as if i do this only in force, while i don't. It's just me being lazy. I also love to draw, things like anime (even though it’s not yet good), but i only draw probably after i watched anime, or when i only "really" want to. Sometimes, when i only want to do something, i would make a long excuses to procrastinate it. How awful it is? So it’s not a consistent action, while i really want to master them.

Lots of success people out there that is beyond my reach always encourage all to be dicipline, to stay consistent on whatever we like or we want to achieve. I wonder on how they create those characteristic, was it because they pay attention on every single action they’re doing? Or was it because they have big motivation to achieve it so their body, brain, and heart work synergistically? Was it because their environment are supporting? Was it?

The answer is, yes all. Or maybe not all sometimes few have unsupporting environment but they still manage to work harder and stay consistent on their dreams, because they win on the ‘big motivation’, i bet they really have huge motivation.

To see the root on how i can loose my consistency is that, i am lack of motivation. People nowadays or only me, would mostly be like, seeing someone’s achievement in some news or timeline, and then dreamt i could be the same, and then after i am out from seeing that achievement from my face, it’s like i already forgot what i just saw. Means that i did nothing to do the same to pursue my dreams. Even someone else’s achievement is not yet can make me move and pursue my dreams. I was to blinded with wanting a practicality and instant process, that’s why long process would remove my consistency and motivation.

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Those are certain things that i've found on my slow and midnight's thought. I may had done more than i thought that damage my self and ruin the motivation to actually move, so if you guys have any knowledge or information that can help people like me, kindly comment down below! Hoping the next post wouldn't be posted in a long-term haha to fix my consistency problem.

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[Gloomy day, Yogyakarta]