if anyone is even reading this
I'm almost 22, yet I missed many opportunities, something just hold me back. I'm sorry if maybe I'm not the person that people are expecting me to be, lol, I don't even know if someone ever expect me doing something. or be something. I maybe want to hide and travel to remote areas, I maybe just want to cut off every relationship that I had with people, except the closest one which I can count with my hand. I should be graduating in a year or 1,5 more years. I still have time, to make my dreams come true. And I think, after graduating, I just want to disappear and live the best not wanting any compliment from old friends, let me just see you on top and chit chat! The process I'm trying to enter is a jungle to me, I recognized none of it. But, I think I will survive. It's just right now, I still feel like I'm in the crowd and I compare myself to everyone else, I try to compete but I knew I just can't catch up with growth mindset, hustle-bustle, 2-3 papers...